18 Random Things That Stink About Facebook.

On the Air Icon

As the world continues the Facebook love fest… I thought I’d explore the other side of things… those things that get under your skin about Facebook… not necessarily something wrong with Facebook itself… but rather in how people choose to use it…

fblogo

And as there’s a lot of ways to experience Facebook beyond the way I do… I thought I’d leave some room for everyone else to add to my list… I’ve seeded you with the first 15… read ’em, and if you have one that I haven’t covered… post it to the comments… I’ll grab the best ones and add ’em to the list.

The disclaimer here is that much of the following is written with tongue-in-cheek (I’m laying it on thick with the wise-crackin’)… so keep the hate mail to a minimum… especially if you find yourself falling under more than a couple of the following categories…

badpic

1 > It’s called Facebook. So why use an underexposed, poorly focused picture taken from across the room of you with 4 of your BFF’s? In this age of a free digital camera when you open a new checking account, is it really that hard to produce a decent picture of yourself? If someone searches for you, they need to have a reasonable chance of recognizing you from the photo you’ve posted… That’s the point right? Maybe it’s just me…

2 > And continuing that theme… posting a picture of something “not” your face… although sometimes funny and perhaps descriptive of your existence in some meaningful way… is still NOT your face… and to the next person who thinks how clever the ubiquitous Che Guevara icon would be for their picture… know that you’re about the 2 millionth person to have this thought… There should be a Facebook Group of Che’s…

3 > Virtual swag… flowers, chocolate boxes, easter eggs… what good is this stuff going to do me in tough economic times? Feel free to use that donation button though… My PayPal creds are available upon request.

4 > Those of you who are linking your Twitter feeds to your Facebook status updates… perhaps the original ‘tweet’ is serviceable… but then your replies to friends who comment on your tweet (which also post to your Facebook status) are just clogging up my news feed. Consider yourself a ‘see less of this person’

beerbong

5 > Parents that set up a Facebook account just so they can see what their kids are doing… sounds noble… but I’m connected to some of your kids and can tell you with very little hesitation that you don’t want to see what they’re up to… Now I’m talking about college-aged kids here and I need you to just take my word for it on this one…

6 > Don’t “Rank” your friends… nothing good can come of this.

7 > Those that make their home address a part of their profile… believe it or not it’s a much scarier world outside your quaint suburban enclave… and they all have the internet too. Posting pictures of your adorable 5 and 7 year old’s right next to your home address is a recipe for disaster dont’cha think?

8 > Publicizing the ends of relationships… all that will do is open the flood gates for condolences posted to your wall… these are as public as if someone spray-painted them onto your actual wall. A quiet, simple change to your relationship status is all that is necessary.

9 > Write a small ‘personal message’ when making a friend request… how hard is that? If I haven’t seen you in 25 years and your maiden name has vanished… maybe I need a little jog of the memory to remember we were tight in Freshman year homeroom… plus, would you walk up to someone in a bar, nudge ’em and grunt “be my friend?” Conversation is a dying art… Facebook is still a community. Communicate like your Momma taught you.

whopper

10 > If you de-friended me for 1/10th of a Whopper Sandwich… don’t be offended when I won’t take your dumb-ass back.

11 > If you’re on Facebook… never again complain about, or use the term “big brother” negatively… you’re likely more a part of the problem than the solution… but don’t worry about it… the world let that cat out of the bag quite some time ago….

12 > Those that post their phone numbers on their Facebook profiles… nothing good can come of this either… Believe me when I say that Facebook could care less about your privacy… post only your email address… and preferably not your primary email address… use an off-shore gmail or hotmail account that’s easily jettisoned if you ever get in too deep… that way, if someone needs to call you they can drop you an email for your cell number… seems like a reasonable filter in our mad, mad world.

13 > I agree that mobile updating is a pretty cool feature… but does the world really need to know that you’re stuck at an unusually long stop light? Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should

14 > And on the same topic of status updates… if communicating the minutae of your day is what interests you… “I sooo wish work/school was over…” Isn’t Twitter the more appropriate tool for that? At least then I’d only see it if I subscribed to it (you)… The Facebook What’s on your mind? should have a higher calling I think… share something of value to the community with a link or a picture… or at least offer an observation or write something cryptic or clever… it’s not possible all the time I know… but I’m also not interested in the fact that your kids have been bickering all day.

narcissism

15 > And in an ode to the title of this post… if something is making the rounds on Facebook that appears a bit narcissistic… it probably is… as my friend Patrick Crispen’s Dad taught him… if you don’t want to see it on the cover of the New York Times… don’t ever write it down… words to live by sho’nuff.

16 > From Badger > What’s that, friend? You’re throwing a party? Your band is playing a show? Here’s a thought…HOW ABOUT A PHONE CALL?!? Even an email would suffice… If you have an event you hope for me to attend, I recommend you make me aware in a manner more direct than bundling a FB invite in with myriad Lil’Green Patch requests that I already am bitter about having to constantly ignore.

17 > It sucks when you read a friends status update… think of a clever, witty comment… only to scroll down and realize that 7 other people have beat you to it.

18 > How about when you post a new status update or comment on one of your friends updates… you read it over once or twice before submitting… then you post it just to realize you misspelled a word or made a grammatical error.

spacer

5 Responses to “18 Random Things That Stink About Facebook.”

  1. Gen Says:

    Totally agree with 8 and 14. Thank goodness for the ‘HIDE’ feature as I have a bunch of eeyore friends that rant about how awful their mundane day is. Yawn.

    For me Facebook feels like a fad and has lost its luster – I joined around March 1st, and the novelty has worn off for me. I don’t check the site as frequently as I once did (hourly), and my life is just as good.

    Can’t wait to see the next 10 although you have covered much of the big ones… gifts, quizzes, using the site as a blog, amen.

  2. Badger Badger Badger Says:

    What’s that, friend? You’re throwing a party? Your band is playing a show? Here’s a thought…HOW ABOUT A FUCKING PHONE CALL?!?!?! Even an email proper – to my gmail addresss – would suffice.

    If you have an event you hope for me to attend, I recommend you make me aware in a manner more direct than bundling a FB invite in with myriad Lil’Green Patch requests that I already am bitter about having to constantly ignore.

  3. Lynn Says:

    I completely agree with your list and Gen’s comments. I have only been actively on facebook for a short time but I have a slim view of its usefullness at this time in my world.

  4. Badger Badger Badger Says:

    Sorry if I got you in trouble with Steve for swearing. I just get so flippin angry with Facebook abuse. I dropped MySpace for Facebook because it seemed more ‘grown up’ but it’s just the same bullcrap with a different (but still as cluttered and painful to navigate) UI.

    For the record, I sacrificed 10 people who were annoying the crap out of me on Facebook for a Whopper. Best trade I ever made.

  5. monkeycoder Says:

    Just a quick note for Gen and Lynn…

    First of all, thanks for commenting… very much appreciated. But I didn’t mean to imply that I don’t like Facebook… I actually like it quite a bit and check in multiple times daily both on the web and via mobile. I’ve reconnected with many people I had thought I’d lost forever and I learn interesting things about the people I’m friends with daily.

    But there are things about it that can get annoying… but so goes it with most things in life right?

    Anyway, thanks again.

Leave a Reply